I was contacted by a “Penthouse’ magazine editor to give an interview to go along with my upcoming feature layout in “Penthouse Magazine”.
She wants to talk to me on the phone too, but this is what I told her so far…..
Profile Info:
Age Seriously?
Height 5’3″
Measurements (hips, waist, and bra size) 34 26 38DD
Home State (where you come from or where you consider ‘home’) I live in Dayton, NV on an Arnold Palmer Golf Course 10 minutes from the Bunnyranch
Time You’ve Worked at the Ranch 10+ years
Q&A:
How did you start working at the Bunny Ranch? I called Madam Suzette and asked if she had any openings. I showed up and got hired right on the spot.
What made you choose to go into this profession?
I chose to get into the legal brothel industry upon my honorable discharge from the USAF at Nellis AFB in Las Vegas. I did not want to carry a gun for a living any longer. I thought that dressing glamorous and getting all dolled up to be more appealing than any other civil servant job I would be qualified for.
What was it like to start working there? Tell me a little bit about your early experiences. Were you nervous or intimidated, or did you feel right at home immediately? Were you ever nervous about the work you were doing, or was that a perfect fit for you?
I had already been really quite successful in the legal brothel industry prior to working at the Bunnyracnh. I had heard through the grapevine that the Moonlite Bunnyarnch had new ownership and that the girls were allowed to leave the property unlike the industry wide “lock down” conditions wherein working girls were required to stay on property at the legal brothels for weeks and months at a time.
I was ecstatic to be able to work and leave the property to go to real estate school at the same time.
I was an extremely motivated and quite popular and extremely busy little bunny right out the gate. The Bunnyranch was and remains perfect fit for me as I appreciate all the freedoms while I still have all the extreme work ethics instilled in me as well.
– customer service, customer satisfaction, respect, beauty, class, style; the traits of true courtesan.
How has sex changed for you since working at the Ranch? Were you always very sexual before this, or did the Ranch bring out your inner sex kitten? Do you enjoy sex more now since you’re more experienced, or do you not care about sex as much in your personal life since it’s now part of your job?
I’ve always been highly sexually charged. The legal brothel industry has allowed me to explore my own sexuality as well as to study a very wide range of sexual orientations full time. I love everything about sex, human touch, pleasure, entertaining and companionship. There are so many facets to all the aforementioned that there is always room for me to grow. I am like a sponge and a tap for all these beautiful things and experiences all at the same time.
I DO enjoy sex more now than ever. I have learned and experienced so many things that my life and my career are both true bliss for me. And, yes, I do orgasm very time!
What do you consider the best parts of your job at the Bunny Ranch? What things do you really love about being a Bunny? Is there anything you don’t enjoy, or that doesn’t live up to expectations?
I think one of the best parts of my job at the Bunnyranch is that I am so lucky and blessed to be able to touch so many lives with an endless supply of love and care. I truly and easily find so many things to love about all my clients that I really do fall in love every time!
Entertaining is a very rewarding experience for me. I’m not in the ‘biz just for the money. I love meeting new people, making new friends, dinner dates, seeing the sites, catching a show or a movie, companionship, great sex no strings attached and I also love and excell in raising my own bar as far as being the best “hostess with the most-est” and the number one most talented and caring courtesan of all time in the history of the world.
I also like cuddling, sleeping with and waking up in the arms of a man and doing it all over again. I love good conversation; laughter, good times, and making men and women feel good about themselves. I enjoy treating people nicely, being liked by people, and I especially love the afterglow of an experience with my clients-lovers-friends for days and (many times) years to come.
What do you consider your specialities or your areas of expertise? What do you offer that other girls may not? Are you more of a Girlfriend Experience girl, are you into kink?
I take pride in being the best in the biz and never cease to prove it. I became the best in the industry by lots of hard work, studying and consistently raising my own bar and perfecting all my skills in out of the bedroom and by my own never wanting to become bored, disenchanted or stale. Plus, my sexual drive and desire to do something good for others seems to increase every day.
Take me through a typical session with you, beginning to end. How do you get things started? What does a standard session involve? How does a date with you end?
There really isn’t a “typical” session. I cater each session to the gentleman’s desires and then add tons of my own experience to enhance his pleasure with his immediate desire always being fulfilled and then some. I like to refer people to the 100’s of reviews of my sessions at www.airforceamy.com You really don’t have enough room in this article for me to write what a session with Air Force Amy is like.
Tell me about some of the strangest requests you’ve gotten from clients. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever been asked to do? Did you accommodate the client? What was the experience like for you?
I tend to think of unique requests as just that – unique and creative. Some of my more creative requests include breaking in the bed of a new pick up truck, my honking bicycle horns with a a happy ending at the same time, balloon play and I even had a client that liked to pull me around in a pony cart while he adorned a horse hair butt plug.
What’s something that clients may not be comfortable asking for but that is actually really normal?
You’d be surprised to find out how many men do not get oral sex or 69 at home. I, myself, am completely astounded and utterly amazed at how many sexless marriages there really are.
Tell me about some of the wildest parties you’ve been part of (maybe two or three, if they stand out for you). What made them so wild? Were you expecting things to get crazy or did it come as a surprise? Did you enjoy yourself as much as the client(s)?
The wildest parties always involve three or more bunnies to at least one guy. The money, the drinks, the sex, the juices, the laughter, the singing, the dancing, the inhibitions just run wild. They are kind of like a fraternity party gone wild with sex professionals at the helm and it is all good, clean, safe adult fun and no is going to jail or catching a disease.
What’s your favorite kind of client? My favorite kind of client is one that is open minded, polite as opposed to defensive and rude.
What kind of guy (or girl) walks into the bar at the Ranch and makes you think, “I want them”? That would have to be everyone. I have learned not to discriminate. There is always at least one thing about every person that I see or meet that I will love.
And how can a client make themselves stand out for you once you’re in the bedroom? Compliments and a good massage. I just melt from compliments and massages.
What are your personal preferences? Are there some things you prefer over others? If a client came in and said that everything was up to you, what would you want to do? Talk, laugh, dance, sing, listen to music, have fun, play, orgasm, learn something new, relax, travel, explore, pamper, cuddle.
What have you learned from your time at the Ranch? Don’t sweat the small stuff, it’s all small stuff. Don’t take upsets personally. Be curious. Savor memories. Don’t judge. Always be kind, polite, helpful and grateful. Enforce boundaries. Work, work, work. Save money. All things in moderation.
What are your top sex tips for women? How can they make their men lust after them the way men lust after you? What about your tips for men? How can a guy ensure that a woman like you will say yes to him and will keep coming back for more?
Take care of your health and your body. Eat a well balanced diet and exercise. Compliment your partner. Know you and your partner’s body and mind turn ons and turn offs. Never withhold sex as a form of punishment. Gently tell your partner what turns you on, what turns you off and what you would like to try differently and additionally. Have fun. Don’t be afraid. If sex becomes a chore, quickly find out why and fix it so it becomes enjoyable and fun.
Air Force Amy is the ONLY certified Clinical Sexologist, Sex Educator, Loveologist, and Sex Therapist to have practiced in any and all of Nevada’s most notable legal brothels. She is the most celebrated legal courtesan in the world. With 30 years of experience, Amy is an advocate of a sex positive society and your ultimate authority on sex and relationships. Follow @airforceamy on Twitter @airforceamyvegason Instagram and TheAirForceAmy on Facebook.
God, Masturbation, and You: The Stigma of Sexual Pleasure in Religions
In the year of 2023, you would think that masturbation would no longer be a taboo subject, and everyone would be getting down and freaky with themselves. Unfortunately, that is still not the case.
Despite the fact that according to surveys, 60 – 80% of women and 95% of men openly admitted to masturbating, there is still a feeling of shame in engaging in such a personal act. While shame can come from family, friends, media, society, and other outlets, the most common source of shame comes from – no surprise – religion.
This shame doesn’t just localize itself to masturbation, however; sex in general, with multiple partners outside of the “sanctity of marriage” is also greatly shamed and even forbidden in religions to this day.
Today, I want to discuss with you how religious-based sex shaming began, its repercussions on society today, types of sex shaming, and how – if you are in this situation – you can overcome the fear and guilt you have and finally open up to how wonderful sex can be for you physically, mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually!
Where did sex shaming in religion begin?
To discover the origin of sex shaming in western religion, look no further than the Bible itself – many versus denounce women as temptresses, practicing whoredom and being harlots. Brides who aren’t virgins will be stoned at their father’s home doorsteps (Deut. 22:21). Anyone who cheats on a partner, male or female, will be killed (Lev. 20:10). Don’t even get me started on gay people (Lev. 20:13).
Whatever, the Bible is old, surely while aspects like adultery and practicing unsafe sex shouldn’t be encouraged, no one actually thinks people should be killed over it – right?
I wish I could quell your worries, but unfortunately, this is not the case. One notable preacher, Evangelist Kevin Swanson, publicly declares that gays should be killed. By the way, this is a man who is alive and existing in our world today. You are currently breathing the same air he breathes. Scary, right?
Attempts were made to forbid church officials to have sex – the earliest case being in 386 by Pope Siricius. You can see how well that went.
While sex is more generally accepted in today’s society through media and living arrangements, religious people still have somewhat of an aversion to practicing sex or masturbation. Studies have proven, in fact, that religious people are in general less likely to masturbate or use vibrators.
How to Recognize Religious Sexual Shame
Are people telling you to not have sex until you’re married – including personal masturbation? Ding ding ding, you’ve been shamed.
Of course, waiting until marriage to engage in sex is absolutely and completely a personal choice – I do not shame anyone for waiting or not waiting. The issue here is that people are telling women what they can and can’t do with their bodies, as if their bedroom acts dictate other people’s lives. Basically, any time someone tells you what you can and can’t do sexually is a form of sexual shame.
Are people saying you’re sinful and need to be saved if you’re attracted to people of the same sex? Congratulations – once again, you’ve been shamed.
The debate of sexuality and religion has been a long-lasting, hard-headed one. It seems that no matter what you say, you cannot convince a devout religious person that being gay or bisexual is okay. Let’s not forget the fact that being a religious gay person can totally be a thing – in fact, I have quite a few friends who are religious and openly gay or bisexual.
Perhaps people are telling you not to use birth control because that means you’re just having sex willy-nilly? Hello, shame, how are you today?
One of the biggest issues with religious shaming in terms of sexuality is the abundant amount of double standards – this includes women not being able to use birth control nor get abortions. Don’t have sex, but if you do, you better have that baby.
It also is prevalent in terms of who can have sex. Girls should wait until marriage. Virginity is sacred. But boys? Eh, boys will be boys! If the woman didn’t want attention, they shouldn’t be wearing such revealing clothes. Shame on you for tempting the boys. No wonder they had sex with you.
That’s not to say that men also can’t experience religious sexual shame – back to the masturbation talk, some religions would mutilate genitals in order to prevent men (and women) from having sex too young. This is more than just shame – this is straight up abuse.
Even looking at porn is considered fair game for shame – in religion, it’s seen as committing adultery.
In conclusion – sexual shame in religion can come in many different forms. From subtle cues in words and phrases, to straight up physical abuse, sexual shame in religion can be very scarring to those who had to grow up and endure it. Many people will stick with the religion just so they don’t have to upset anyone further, or they’ll quickly branch away as soon as they can but still have a slew of intimacy issues (understandably so).
If you are victim of sexual shame from your religious beliefs, first know that you are not alone. Many people in society are dealing with sexual shame in many forms, including religious. People you interact with every day could be on their own personal journey of overcoming sexual shame. There are plenty of people in the world who specialize in therapy specifically for these situations who are more than willing to help you.
In the meantime, here are my tips for overcoming religious (or any) sexual shame.
Come to terms with the fact that this happened to you.
The first step to overcoming your sexual shame is to admit you have any shame at all. This can be tough. You have to be able to identify the sources of shame, and sometimes they can come from your own family or friends, or the church you’ve felt “safe” in your entire life. You may have to come to a decision to leave those people or communities, and that can be incredibly difficult. You may lose friendships. You may lose “respect” from some people.
You may also help give others the courage to leave as well.
As mentioned earlier – you are not suffering alone. There are other people struggling with religious sexual shame, and sometimes, seeing one person take action inspires others to take action as well.
Of course, this shouldn’t be your driving force – the number one person you should do this for is yourself.
Talk to a therapist.
Therapy has much less of a stigma today than it used to – thank goodness! Sometimes talking things out with someone who will have an unbiased opinion is a great way to clear your head and really figure out the root of any sexual issues you may be having.
As a certified sex therapist, I’ve heard a slew of many different sexual issues – nothing fazes me anymore. I’m one of the best people to schedule with, whether you’re looking for an outlet for your sexual frustration, or you just want to talk! Getting an outside opinion is incredibly important, and it’s a great way to get your feelings validated.
Conduct further research on the relationship between religions and sex.
There are actually quite a few religions that encourage the idea of exploring sexuality. Typically, eastern religions such as Buddhism are much more accepting and encouraging of being able to explore your own body and delve into sexual urges than western religions are. Consider going on a spiritual journey to figure out what type of religion might be right for you.
You could even discover that no religion fits your beliefs perfectly – and that is normal and valid. Don’t be ashamed if you end up swaying away from your original beliefs or religion. People are allowed to change their views, especially if it stems from childhood trauma.
Realize you do not have to do anything you’re not comfortable with.
Even if you do end up finding a side of yourself that becomes more open with the world of sexuality, realize that you don’t have to partake in everything. It’s okay to wait to have sex until marriage if that’s what your moral compass tells you to do. Just make sure that it’s a decision you alone are making – not your friends, your lover, your parents, or your priest.
The most important takeaway from all of this is that you’re thinking and deciding for yourself – no one should be allowed to govern your body or your sexuality. These things are just as sacred as your religious belief itself!
Air Force Amy is the most celebrated legal courtesan in the world. She is the ONLY certified Clinical Sexologist, Sex Educator, Loveologist, and Sex Therapist in any legal Nevada brothels. With 30 years of experience, Amy is an advocate of a sex positive society and ultimate authority on sex and relationships. Follow @airforceamy on Twitter @airforceamyvegas on Instagram and TheAirForceAmy on Facebook.
I like to get the shower nice an steamy and soap you and I up real good ’til we are nice and slippery and then I rub my slippery breasts and hands and legs that now glide so easily into any position you want me to be in. I can rub my clitoris on your member with one of my legs wrapped behind you while you massage my breasts.
I rub you down with my erect nipples on top of my voluptuous, ever so responsive, breasts very eager for your attention. Your love muscle finds it’s way between my breasts and you slowly to vigorously fuck my titties the way you and I want it.
I turn you around and put your hands up against the wall while I give you a soap rub down and massage of your whole body, not missing a single inch. I wrap myself around you from behind and stroke your cock off with the best hands in the world (mine) while I am whispering naughty things in your ears.
A good scalp, temple and face massage is yours while you recover from your first orgasm and rest your head on my breasts working our way into round two, three and four…….
It’s an especially saucy edition of the Vital Vegas podcast, so lube up, gird your loins and strap on your earbuds.
We start with all the latest on the as-yet-unannounced sale of Palms casino to the San Manuel tribe. Yes, we’re the only one reporting this story to-date, which makes the scoop, and us, even cooler.
This is going to shake things up real good.
As of May 1, 2021, Nevada brothels are open again, so we went to a legal brothel icon for what’s going down.
We chat with none other than Air Force Amy, of “Cat House” fame, about how sex workers have navigated the pandemic and the closure of brothels for more than a year.
Air Force Amy shares insights about what customers can expect now that brothels have opened again, as well as her experiences at the famous Bunny Ranch (and just about every other brothel in Nevada).
Here’s brothel legend Air Force Amy on Casual Friday.
Naturally, we’ve got a butt-ton of updates about pandemic restrictions being lifted (Las Vegas capacities are up to 80%), what’s opening again (nightclubs, dayclubs and strip clubs, sorry, still no lap dances) and more.
Of course, we’ll dive into the recent spate of million-dollar-plus jackpots around Las Vegas. The biggest was a $10.5 million beauty at South Point which should’ve been ours, but we’re not even slightly bitter.
Of course, amidst all the good news, there’s still a lot that annoys us, so we share our “Top 11 Annoying Things in Las Vegas Right Now.” Highlights: Broken escalators (only 11 of 60 are working on The Strip right now), rideshare and rental car problems, the $1,200 taxable threshold and, of course, masks.
“Grrr” just about covers it.
Get ready for a wild ride as we fill your head, heart and moist regions with so much Vegas, you’ll probably spill a little when you run over speed bumps.
MATURE VIRGINS – READ THIS & THEN SEE AIR FORCE AMY!
These days, men of all ages are virgins for all sorts of reasons and let me tell you, there is no shame in that! There are few topics more fraught with anxiety and confusion – for men and women – than the idea of virginity. I can’t count the number of letters I’ve received from people desperately afraid that they’ve “left it too late”.
Some may have had physical intercourse with another person – oral sex, mutual masturbation, possibly even anal sex – but consider themselves virgins because they’ve never had penile/vaginal sex. Others may have had penetrative sex but not “count” it for one reason or another. Still others may have never so much as held hands with someone who wasn’t a family member.
Because of all of the importance placed on the concept of virginity, many people are convinced that having passed some arbitrary cut-off point renders them utterly unlovable. Or they think that although they’re getting older they will never truly be adult because they’ve never crossed the finish line.
But – and you had to know that a “but” was coming – is it too late for you? What are these late-bloomers supposed to do?
Well, when the time does come and you decide you want to have sex for the first time, I’d like to think I’m the perfect person to do it with.
For most people, their first time is really awkward. But not when it’s with me. I know that this is a big moment for you and that’s exactly how I’ll treat it. I will make you comfortable. I will help relax you (I have an arsenal of tricks at my disposal to ease into to the main course). I will be kind and I will be gentle. But I will also be passionate and as wild as you want me to be. Ask me any questions you like. By the end of your time with me, you’ll feel like sex is the best and most natural thing in the world.
I want to make this a first time you will never forget! We’ll try all sorts of sensual, sexual and effective techniques and positions that will be tailored for your unique erogenous zones. I also want to give you some new skills to take out into the world and impress the ladies. So you can try things on me too (with guidance if you need it) to see what might please other women.
I want our time together to be fun, informative, intimate and naughty. I want to give you some of the best memories of your life.
HERE ARE SOME OF THE MOST FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS I RECEIVE FROM VIRGINS
Is it strange that I’m 25-35 years+ and still a virgin?
No, not at all. I’ve heard from, helped and had a really great time with many virgins of all ages. You are not alone and I do not think you or your circumstances are strange.
I’m only 18-24. Will you still see me?
Absolutely! This whole article applies to you too!
I’m afraid that you are too experienced for me OR
My self esteem with women is nonexistent.I’m too chubby / too skinny / too_______/ not _______ enough (“fill in the blank”) & I’m not packing anything special down there.
First of all, you are enough! You are perfect, you count, you matter and I love you no matter what!
I understand your concern but you honestly have nothing to worry about in any of these respects with me. It’s actually my experience that allows me to be so patient and easygoing and to be able to teach in a soft, loving, sensual and fun manner. I am so down to earth and the absolute opposite of conceited and I could never look down on a nice person.
My tenure and success at The BunnyRanch speaks volumes about my true love of what I do. I am extremely empathetic and I never judge. If I was a judgmental person, I would never have lasted as long or been as successful as I am in this industry…it just wouldn’t work!
It might surprise you to know that I was teased quite heavily as a child and in school and I am still bullied on the internet today. I know how it feels to think you don’t fit in and to question if people like you. In my own life I do not tolerate bullying, teasing or condescending, mean or phony people. And I make sure I would never, ever do that to someone else because I know how badly it hurts.
I am an advocate for the underdog. I believe everyone deserves to be treated kindly, lovingly, sincerely and fairly. I want you to feel good about yourself and more confident, self-assured, loved, loveable and capable of establishing a very rewarding, happy and healthy sex life after seeing me.
I’m really shy around women, primarily because I don’t know how to communicate well with them. I was wondering if we could exchange a few emails before I travel to Nevada?
Absolutely. I want you to be sure that you are comfortable with me, and in your decision to see me, and I want to reassure you that I can address all your concerns and desires.
I also like getting to know you better before we meet so I can add all the details (no matter how big or small) that make your experience tailored to just you and full of those extra special touches that no one else I know would think of for you.
I am also a huge help when you’re planning your trip to see me. I’ll give you advice on everything from airfares to free ground transportation, lodging and other fun and interesting things to do here in Northern Nevada.
What will you do to relax me, and what will we do?
I know many ways to relax you. We can talk and get to know each other in person for as long as you like before we get to the main course. You will find that I am fun and silly and really good at making you feel super comfortable with me. I can hold a conversation on just about any topic on earth!
I am also very good at listening and allowing you to talk and teach me something new too. I help you to come out of your shell by asking you easy questions about your interests, the town where you live, school, your work, places you’ve visited, past relationships or lack thereof ( if you like). Or we can just talk about me and The BunnyRanch…anything that helps you feel more comfortable.
It took me many years of experience and education to master all these techniques and I don’t want to just give those secrets away right here! But please do email me and I’ll happily share more details: airforceamy@bunnyranch.com
Here is a list of my further education, degrees and certifications that make me the number one choice for your first time:
What also sets me apart from all other providers in the Legal Brothel Industry in Nevada is that I am a Certified Love and Intimacy Coach. See my Article here:
I have an Associates Degree in Sex Education and a Certificate in Clinical Sexology. See my article here>
I am slated to complete my Master of Human Sexuality degree this year.
I am studying many more areas of human relations and sexuality leading to my Doctorate Degree in Human Sexuality and these greatly enhance my services to you. I am also joining the faculty at “The Institute for the Advancement of Human Sexuality” in San Francisco in early 2016.
I’ve just embarked upon my certification in Intimate Hypnosis which I am certain will help in many areas of sexual frustration.
So, in addition to my award winning services encompassing everything from companionship to very unique sexual (and many nonsexual) requests, I am officially schooled and certified to help you in many areas of sexual relations, sex education and intimacy. And especially, your “first time”.
I GIVE AWARD WINNING SERVICE! BUT DON’T JUST TAKE MY WORD FOR IT…CHECK OUT ALL MY AWARDS HERE
EXCERPTS FROM TESTIMONIALS FROM VERY SATISFIED VIRGINS: YOU CAN ALSO READ THE FULL TESTIMONIALS HERE
AFA took my virginity…at…well, let’s just say at a very “advanced” age. All I can say is Amy is a total sweetheart and if you make it to the ranch you will not regret choosing her.
If you are a virgin, I am convinced there is NO ONE who will take better care of you than Amy… I was lucky enough to spend a few hours with her and she was amazing. It wasn’t about the money…it wasn’t even about the sex… I am a total cynic…but for 2+ hours I honestly believe that in HER mind Amy was my girlfriend…and all she wanted to do was please me.
-Wabbit Hunter
Unfortunately, I have had the misfortune of being overweight all my life, which has left me with low self-esteem and terrible shyness with women. I found myself still a virgin at age 33 and with no sight of my soul-mate to be found anywhere. But a few e-mails and one very nervous phone call later, I had an appointment to see Amy.
I must say, Amy is even more beautiful in person and my jaw must have dropped to the floor when I first saw her. After a warm hello hug, we talked for a while before we got our drinks and Amy took me for a tour of the facilities. Before long, we made the trip down to Amy’s room at the end of the hall. Knowing this was my first time, she had the room romantically lit in red to make things more relaxing. Air Force Amy was more than I could have ever imagined. I know she is more known for her wild side, but she has a very soft, gentle and romantic side as well. Not only did she make me feel very comfortable from the start, but she did wonders with my self-esteem and made me feel like a porn star.
-Anonymous
“Amy was exceptional. My two hours flew by and I came three times. Amy you are THE BEST EVER!!!!
Thanks for making my first time so special.”
-First timer from Nashville
Amy has this way of talking to you, of laughing with you, of asking just the right questions and never judging, never assuming that made me feel really comfortable. I mean, even if I wasn’t going to her for you-know-what she would still be a girl I’d like to meet.
My confidence went way up (that’s not the only thing that went way up!) when I got Amy to cum just by her showing where to touch and kiss her and so many pointers, I’m sure I’ll remember at least a few for my next experience. Thank you Amy, you really do provide service of epic proportion.
When in matrimonial bliss, it’s common to be rocking the bed every day – you just got married, your partner looked hot A.F. at the wedding, and your chemistry has rekindled. This, like all good things, however, comes to an end.
From potentially having children to take care of, to changes in the body causing self-esteem issues, the reasons for that deflating libido are endless. Despite this, there is most likely one of you who still wants to get freaky more often than the other.
Is has to be the guy, right? Well, shove this in his face (or, if you’re male, get ready for a rude awakening); the rate of lower sex libidos in married couples is actually split 50/50 between men and women.
Whether you’re the bunny or the dozing bull in your marriage, I’ve got five hot tips to tell you how you can remedy your mismatched sex drive in marriage – including how I can help you personally.
Change Up Your Routine
Whenever I hear about couples who happen to have sex every Wednesday night, or – God forbid – “schedule” their sex, I visibly cringe! No wonder your libidos are low – you’re probably bored because you know when it’s coming! Let it be spontaneous and fun – do it in a different room, or in the car – heck, do it during a different time of the day, and it’ll already begin to feel like a brand new experience for the both of you!
Give Yourself a Little Lovin’
You’ve probably heard the phrase, “In order to love others, you must first learn to love yourself,” right? Let me tell you right now – that isn’t just emotionally. A big reason why couples have mismatched libidos or an unsatisfying sex life is because they forgot – or simply just don’t know – how they themselves like to be pleasured.
Masturbation is a perfect way to boost confidence, figure out what you love during foreplay, and get you revved up to the point where you’ll have no choice but to grab your partner and go! Plus, you can kick it up a notch and explore mutual masturbation – by watching each other, you get that extra visual education on what your partner likes and dislikes.
Speaking of mutual masturbation….
Explore New Kinks and Toys
It can be very difficult to open up about your secret sexual interests, whether you’ve been with someone for 10 weeks, 10 months, or 10 years. Perhaps society has trained you to believe that what you like is shameful, or that you should never share it with anyone else. This thought process alone can kill your libido, no matter who you’re sharing it with.
Believe it or not, this is a conversation that is best started outside of the bedroom. Bringing up the fact that, “Oh, by the way, I like this very specific act that you may have never heard of before” during sex can make things very awkward, especially if the other party doesn’t feel comfortable. Talking in a neutral setting will make it easier to be honest, bring you closer together, and not deflate any boners (assuming no one has one at the time).
Not only should you share your hidden desires, but be sure to be attentive and create a welcoming environment to your partner’s desires, too – fairness is very important in a relationship. Don’t be afraid to talk about what you’re willing to do and not do; creating boundaries is just as important as breaking them.
And, most importantly, never shame anyone for what they’re interested in.
Make the Bedroom Your Sex Sanctuary
While I mentioned earlier that you should try having sex in different places, that doesn’t mean you should neglect the bedroom entirely. Make it an experience for all the senses – dim the lights, light some candles, play some music, get some ice cubes or feathers, perhaps some strawberries – this should look and feel like a big event. Keep a drawer designated for all your toys and props an arms-length away so you won’t have to do a naked run to a different part of the house, potentially killing the mood.
Think about this in terms of when you aren’t having sex either; in my mind, your bedroom should be your favorite part of the house. Get the coziest blanket and the softest sheets and pillows; decorate it like your dream home. Make it an area that you look forward to going to.
If I were you, I would take it a step further and ban any electronics or stress-inducers. This means no cell phones, no television, no laptops or textbooks. Your bedroom should be for nothing but sex and sleep.
Get an Outside Opinion…or Third Party Involved
Perhaps you’ve already tried these options. While your sex itself may have improved, you still find yourself wanting more, or you still sometimes don’t feel like initiating it, depending on which libido you have. This is the time when I suggest getting a professional opinion.
No, I don’t mean a therapist. Though technically, I am one!
I’m here for you if you just want to talk things out. My certifications give me a very well-rounded perspective on many types of issues in the bedroom, and I ensure that I book enough time with you so that it’s not just a case of sex-and-go; we could spend an entire evening discussing your dilemmas if you wanted to!
Getting an outside opinion may be hard, because it means admitting fault to someone else. But once you get it out in the open, I promise you, it becomes a lot easier to deal with. The first step to fixing any issue is admitting you have one, right?
Having mismatched sex drives can seem absolutely devastating in a relationship, married or otherwise. But, if you two are willing to take the time to work on it, and if you try out these tips, I can assure you that you’ll be on the same sexual wavelength in no time.
Ready to talk about your libidos or bang it out with me? Book a one-on-one session with me today!
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I thought I was going to write this article to men thinking the wife would be the one suffering low libido.
Imagine my surprise when I found out it was a 50/50 chance that either partner could be the one afflicted.
Ladies, I find it absolutely imperative you recognize what might be happening in your sexless marriage. We are so conditioned to think the male has such virility (it just has to be something wrong with the gal/he must not think you are so attractive any longer blah, blah blah).
The only way to fix something is to identify there is a problem, or a mismatch or a hiccup or whatever you want to call it.
If you are not experiencing the sex life you would like or the one that you envision or used to have.
Identify what is going on and shoot me an email if you’d like me to help you figure it out and help you fix it or help you get the sex life you really want.
Yours truly, was just mentioned in the New Yorker. How cool is that? In the recently published, “The Lorena Bobbitt Story Offers New Lessons on Male Vulnerability,” article (https://www.newyorker.com/culture/cultural-comment/the-lorena-bobbitt-story-offers-new-lessons-on-male-vulnerability) writer Rebecca Mead gives me a great shout out. In her review of the newly released 4-part Amazon documentary, “Lorena” Rebecca mentions her first interview of me in 2001 and that was a great piece about me in the “Money Edition” of The New Yorker.
Recently we spoke of my dealings with John Wayne Bobbitt and more specifically, what did I recall of him the time while I worked with him at the Moonlight Bunnyranch. I related stories of his constant ineptitude and lack of better judgment that, to this day, are some of the best “Bunnyranch, PR gone wrong” stories ever.
For example, there was the time John was supposed to be driving a limo full of working ladies to and from an engagement at a casino, and he got too drunk while partaking of the casino games and drink while waiting on the ladies. The ladies had to find him, and John was so drunk he had to have one the ladies drive the limo back to the Bunnyranch.
Wrong on so many levels, but ok in the eyes of John Wayne Bobbitt.
Not a full deck of cards with John Wayne Bobbitt? Is the old elevator not going all the way up? Not the sharpest tool in the shed? Or was he just one of the few predatory, misogynist sociopaths that surfaced during a quickly passing five minutes of fame in the 1990s?
What I say in the last episode of the documentary, I felt at the time and pretty much still do… Bobbitt’s on/off/then on again penis was the most interesting aspect of the entire media explosion that followed the infamous incident he was part of.
Are you on any medications that may be interfering with your erection? If not, I hate to say it, but it might just be age and believe it or not – lack of use. I hate to be blunt, but there it is.
The great news is that there is hope!!
You can start by doing what I call “Kegel exercises for your cock”. You can search that same phrase on Youtube and find the exercises you need. Google these terms: Kegel Exercises For Men – How To Last Longer in Bed With Kegel Exercise | Male Kegeling
Here are a couple that I like.
2. I also highly recommend Cialis, a Rx you would need to get from your doctor. I have clients in their late seventies and 80’s that use this “erection in a pill” and it really, really works better than the hundreds of other male enhancement rip offs that are available.
OR you may still have the erection and endurance you wish for but just couldn’t muster up in the last years of your marriage. Your thoughts and your visual stimulants control the majority of your erection.
3. I provide optimum conditions to arouse even the dead!
I provide an innumerable amount of ambiance and I pay attention to every little detail to totally turn me and you on.
I always say to myself that if the gentleman I am with does not have an erection before I even book the money, well then, I haven’t done my job.
Take it from there to my being able to relate to all people at all levels in building rapport.
Add to your experience, my own personal love nest that I have created throughout the years that add an unparalleled ambiance.
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